“I have sometimes been asked by women what prostitution feels like…
I invite them, the next time they are in a bar, to take a look around at the male patrons. Old, young, fat, thin… and imagine that they are obliged to have sex with them. All of them.”
https://psyche.co/ideas/the-reality-of-prostitution-is-not-complex-it-is-simple
Grief is being hit by the shock & trauma of P's death a million times a day. I do things to take my mind off it for a minute, but I'm soon hit by the dreadful reality again. It's almost better to not have the distractions so I don't have those shocking realisations afterwards.
Four months today, my world stopped.